The Addiction We ALL Enable

When I was younger, adults would always tell me about the trials and tribulations of being a taxpayer, parent and employee all at once. I would hear their lamentations about the stressors that come with being grown, but to me, this was a lifetime away. I did not necessarily have the kind of childhood that I would die to re-live, but I wasn't necessarily excited to meet these adult responsibilities. I did not have to fear because once again, this was a lifetime away.

Or so I thought...

Although I am not a 50 year old man who has been disenfranchised by the exploitation and abrasion that comes from participating in "the system", I am a 19 year old who has been living with the fear of getting older ever since puberty punched me in the vocal cords. This fear stems not from a need to stay young, but rather a fear of not maturing in time. Not getting on the train when it comes around. 

Growing up, you would hear stories of men who use their retirement funds to get fancy cars and women who engage in cosmetic procedures and practices that make them look "10 years younger." I always looked at the pressure to drastically change myself as a distant reality that would await me decades later. But now, now I would be lying if I said that I do not worry about how I present myself to the world. I would be lying if I denied that my "work ethic" is not driven by a fear of the unstable economy. If I was Pinocchio, my nose would be the length of a footlong sausage if I did not admit that my fear of the future has been keeping me up at night ever since the latter years of primary school.  

But enough about me and my "woe is me" attitude, surely this cannot be the same sentiments echoed by my peers, right?

Wrong. 

Gen Z has been reported on numerous occasions to identify with the feeling of burnout in staggering amounts. Across multiple surveys, burnt-out Gen Z members make up anywhere from 47% to 80% of survey participants. Although experiencing burnout in one's career is normal, it is quite rare for this to be expressed by the generation that has most recently entered the workforce.    

When expressing the strain of being a full-time university student, employee, son, brother, cousin and friend (yes I am one of those people who milk each and every one of their labels), I am often met with the response, "you have to zula my bra." This insinuates that there is no escape from this ungodly, stress-driven carousel. Once you get on it, it only gets hotter and faster with each successive trip around the sun. We as a society are willing to ban any other gateway into traditional addictions, but seem to turn a blind eye to workaholism. It is the addiction we all enable because we are raised to believe that being lazy is a problem, but being constantly busy/productive can never be harmful. 

Calling out my burnout by its name and identifying the source of it was a big step I had to take in order to regain my emotional homeostasis. I had to notice that the 10+ hours I was spending on my academics during a singular high school day was more detrimental to me than I would be able to realise at the time. Realising the narrative I was sold at a young age of being a "gifted child" was a projection of perfectionism onto me. I had to de-construct my urge to use my "good work ethic" as a personality trait. I had to breakdown the need to outperform not only myself, but my peers as well. I had to realise that I was taught to be my own supervisor and punish myself for not working for long enough, even if the quality of the work was adequate with a minimal time input. Teaching myself how to truly rest without involuntary thoughts of "slacking" infiltrating my brain was essential. Only when I actively practised this was I able to liberate myself from the aforementioned hell carousel. 

If you are struggling with issues of workaholism, know that you too can seek freedom and rest as a solution, but the question is... are you willing to jump off the carousel?